I haven’t blogged in quite a while. It has been pretty busy academically with essays and dissertation to complete as well as placement hours. Alongside this, I’ve been involved with the #bursaryorbust campaign which has been incredible.
So, I’ve nearly made it to the end. It feels as though the last 3 years have both flown and dragged. Training to be a nurse has been so much harder than I ever imagined. I was warned and I heeded those warnings but until you go through it, you have no idea how you will cope with the demands of this course! Coming towards the end of second year and most of third year, I just didn’t enjoy it like I had done. Even the placements I had I just felt were not for me (which is a good thing to know!) and the pressure of academia as well as simultaneously undertaking a placement in an intensive care setting really did me in. I was really looking forward to it but it turns out that ICU simply isn’t for me, having been lucky enough to be placed in both NICU and PICU. All my academic work is now finished and I am pleased to say that I have a safe 2.1 degree with a first in my dissertation (shocker!). I never thought that I could achieve this.
With all of this going on, I am also moving away from my home town of London to semi-rural Hampshire. Not having plans or a job (or even interviews at this point) was stressful. However, it is all sorted now with a place to live and a job offer at a DGH doing a general paediatric rotation. But here lies my dilemma: I adored my health visiting placement and plan to be a health visitor in the future but I am conflicted as to whether I should work in hospital for a year to begin with. It is funny because I had a retrospective read of my blog and it is so obvious how much I prefer social nursing rather than the physical, medical nursing you often get in hospital (Of course, hospital nursing requires that you have both social and medical skills and this is no way a criticism of hospital nurses. They are amazing, it just isn’t my passion). Attending a social prescribing conference last year seriously changed everything for me. It made me realise that working in the community shouldn’t be ridiculed as it is just as important, in different ways, as acute care. I found myself reading a journal a few months ago about how in medicine, those who go into general practice or psychiatry felt they were mocked by their peers for choosing a “less” acute area. That is simply not the case of course and both GP’s and psychiatrists are absolutely integral to medicine and the wider society. This is how I feel about health visiting and community children’s nursing because I like the aspect of early intervention and continuing care. I have been lucky enough to be offered an interview for a student health visitor programme which is equally terrifying and exciting and also completely unexpected. I have to do a presentation so fingers crossed I don’t say anything ridiculous or reveal my clumsy side. Either way, I will have a job as a nurse in a place I really wanted to work if health visiting is not to be.
So that’s me in a nutshell. Constantly in a quandary and forever indecisive. Let’s see what happens in the next few months – I need to get through my final placement first and foremost!