I thought it wouldn’t be me writing a post like this. Sorry, but this is probably going to be negative.
The nursing degree is hard. Being a student nurse is hard. There is no other way to sugar coat that. How you cope with it is what is important in this. I don’t think I am coping particularly well at the moment as it has been a week at uni and a week in placement and I still don’t feel my usual enthusiasm for nursing returning. In all honesty, I feel quite lost.
I will never quit nursing. I can see the bigger picture and qualification is only 10 months away. I have worked prior to this degree and have completed another, unrelated, degree. I am 27 years old. It has been tough not having my own identity – I just feel like “the student nurse” and my whole life rotates around studying and practical placements (sometimes placements I really do not want to undertake). I also feel this course has impacted my social life and my relationship – my poor partner has often had to coach me through times I have found really difficult, midnight tears and the monotony of listening about nursing when you have no interest or are involved in healthcare at all. Poor sod.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel in the form of qualification but then what? I become a nurse demonized by the press, suppressed and suffocated by the government. There only thing that gets me through is my passion to help others. When everything is getting on top of me, all I think about is how to make someone’s life better – I was really lucky to be sponsored to attend the College of Medicine Summer School which focused on healthy communities. This conference helped me gain some perspective regarding my own personal beliefs, morals and ethics and made me think about a future career in primary care. (I will write a separate post about the summer school soon).
I have had amazing opportunities and I feel like it is a little bit of a fluke that I am in one of the most renowned nursing schools in the UK and I would do well to remember that. I know I am lucky to even be studying nursing as some people apply for years before they are accepted. However, right now I feel like I am treading water and just keeping my head above the waves. I haven’t really enjoyed many of my placements (I mean like LOVED) I have had which has made me doubt myself, my abilities and my career.
I am hoping this feeling passes or else I am in for a rough ride the next year.